Ask most American Jews about Purim and they will mention children’s parties, silly Purim Shpiels, costumes, and masks. They may tell you the story of Queen Esther. They might tell you about drinking alcohol in quantities not seen on any other holiday. They are less likely to mention one of the sweetest customs of the day: mishloach manot. (meesh-LOW-ach mah-NOTE) This is the mitzvah of wrapping up small gifts of food or drink to give to family and friends. If the Hebrew name is a tongue twister, call them Purim Goody Bags.
While it is a commonly observed mitzvah in some places, I had never seen it in my home congregation in Oakland. My first experience with mishloach manot was when one of my teachers at Hebrew Union College, Dr. Rachel Adler, showed up at class with a shopping bag loaded with a small brown paper bag for each student in her classes. Mine had a tiny bottle of kosher grape juice and 2 cookies. I was thrilled, then immediately felt guilty that I hadn’t brought her a goody bag, too.
Most sources give two reasons for this mitzvah: (1) to make sure that everyone has good things to eat to celebrate the holiday and (2) to promote good feelings and harmony in the Jewish community. It’s based on a verse in the Scroll of Esther:
Therefore the Jews of the villages that dwelt in the unwalled towns made the 14th day of the month of Adar a day of gladness and feasting, a holiday, and of sending portions to one another. – Esther 9:19
The gifts must be food, not money. They must be delivered during the day of Purim. They are given in addition to a special gift to feed the hungry, not instead of it, and one should not buy the gifts with money from one’s tzedakah (charity) budget. And despite my initial guilt feelings over Dr. Adler’s generosity, mishloach manot do not require a reciprocal gift.
The minimum to fulfill the mitzvah is a package of two prepared food items to one person. “Package” is a flexible term: I have seen fancy gift baskets of food for sale for Purim in Israel, but I have never received a sweeter mishloach manot package than the little brown bags Dr. Adler passed out to us with cookies and juice. One hectic year I used foil to make shiny little packages with wrapped candies inside. Mara Strom has written a charming article with 101 ideas for mishloach manot on a budget. The idea is generosity and delight, not ostentation or excess.
There are four main mitzvot of Purim: The Reading of the Megillah, Eating a Festive Meal, Giving Gifts to the Poor, and Mishloach Manot. Which of these mitzvot have you done in the past? Which might you like to try this year?
What a wonderful custom Rabbi! Like you, this has not been a custom in my community, but I think the idea is wonderful and I am going to start it. Giving to the poor, enjoying a feast and a party have always been part of this joyous Holiday, so now add this to make it even more celebratory. Great idea.
I’m so glad you want to give it a try, Sheila. Have a great Purim this year!
Reblogged this on pricillaspeaks and commented:
I love making ritual and festival teaching moments come alive for my family and church. Purim is one that speaks right to my heart because of the spirit of giving.
Is there a difference between mishloach manot and shalach manot?
Same thing, slightly different Hebrew. Good catch!
In my experience, “mishloach manot” is used by Reform and other folks on that end of the spectrum, and “shalach manos” (often with an “s” ending rather than the “t”) on the Orthodox end. I think the former is modern Hebrew and the latter is closer to Yiddish pronunciation, but this is above my pay grade so maybe Rabbi Adar can peek over my shoulder and make sure I don’t send anyone astray…
Patti, you are exactly right. I wrote about this pronunciation difference in a blog post a while back: http://coffeeshoprabbi.com/2013/01/28/i-say-shabbat-you-say-shabbos-but-lets-not-call-anything-off/
Thanks!
The tradition in my congregation is to send care packages to the college kids from our congregation. The families donate the money and time to put these together. This year, I have added The Food Bank of NC along with my usual support of Meals on Wheels and our local soup kitchen. And, we have hamantashen this year!! Might need to make a few ‘packages’ :+))
If anyone feels they should extend this custom to the goyim, I will gladly accept any hamantashen, any flavor 😉
Lurk, unless you are in the SF Bay Area, it’s a bit far for me (and I am not a clever baker.) However, while this is a mitzvah (commandment) for Jews, there is no reason you can’t adopt it as a custom if you wish. I am sure that your local Jewish bakery would be happy to help out!
I am indeed! 510 represent. But I’ll ask my local synagogue who they recommend.
510 here as well. We are fortunate to have the incomparable Grand Bakery in Oakland nearby for kosher goodies. Let me know and I will gladly treat you to hamentashen there !
It’s a date, depending on schedule, weather, public transit, and both of our health. (Oy.)
Rockin the “Oy” Lurk. Sure you aren’t Jewish? 😉
Told you I was often mistaken for one of the Tribe. 🙂
(Today I’m having an “oy vey gevalt!” day.)