Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: Women are obligated in these four cups [of wine or grape juice on the first night of Passover], for they, too, were included in that miracle. – Pesachim 108a-b
Today I had the privilege of study with Sara Wolkenfeld of Sefaria.org (if you aren’t familiar with Sefaria, check it out – AWESOME source for Jewish study!) as part of a group from the Women’s Rabbinic Network. This was one of the texts she shared with us, talking about “women’s inclusion in the miracle” in texts from the tradition.
The entire teaching was marvelous and too complex for a single blog post, but I thought I would share this fragment with you. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi was a 3rd century rabbi, teaching at Lydda (roughly where Ben Gurion airport stands outside Tel Aviv today.)
Traditionally, women are not obligated to perform all mitzvot [commandments.] Rabbi Yehoshua is saying here that one mitzvah women must perform is that of drinking the four cups at the Passover seder. He takes it as a given that men have this obligation, since often when the Talmud talks about “everyone” it really means “all men.”
So perhaps one could rephrase this: “Everyone is obligated in the four cups – yes, really EVERYONE.”
So, in this modern day and age — what?
The point of the four cups is participation in the seder. Everyone is there to take part in the enjoyment of the holiday. Everyone is there to tell the story, to feel as if he or she were personally delivered from Egypt. But if some people (women or men!) are back in the kitchen all evening, getting the next thing ready, making everything “perfect,” how will they fulfill their obligation of the four cups? It isn’t enough to “knock ’em back” as you dash from table to kitchen – no, everyone must participate!
This raises some questions about our seders. It is easy to think of the seder as a performance: a beautiful ceremony that includes a beautiful meal, especially since there will be relatives and guests at the table. It is tempting to show off complicated dishes. But if our focus is strictly on a “performance,” what about the participation? When will the cook feel free from Egypt?
Remember, the first Passover did not involve “good china.” We stood around the table, our bags at the ready, munching the matzah and getting ready to run. This Passover, let’s plan our seders so everyone is free to recline, to enjoy the cups, to tell the story, to sing the songs — and if that means a slightly simpler menu, and everyone (or more of us) pitching in to help, then that is what we should do!
This is such an important topic, especially to me. The hosting and leading of seder skipped a generation and went from my grandparents to me. I have been working for years to try and make this whole experience great for everyone and also for myself. It is a big deal to host and lead…to prepare to lead and then to participate! Everyone who comes is assigned things to bring, and that is super important. Obviously it is easier for me but also, each one has bought into making this a great seder, before they even step into my house. Prepping is good. My favorite pre-set is using cordial glasses at each place, filled with salt water and waiting for the parsley to arrive and be placed, like a flower at each setting. Our other tradition is thawing the frozen shank bone. With no meat on that bone, we use it and refreeze it. We have never been without a good shank bone:+). These are all small things that free me up to be present and bring everyone in to participate.