What’s the Difference?

interfaith dialogue
interfaith dialogue (Photo credit: Seeds_of_Peace)

This time of year, sooner or later I will encounter someone who will reassure me that “we’re all really the same, I mean, we all believe in God, right?” It’s a feel-good, no-worries approach to interfaith issues. My issue with it — well, let’s try an analogy.


I bring a beautiful loaf of home baked challah to a potluck supper. The loaf is still warm, crusty on the outside, and the odor fills the whole room with goodness. I set it on the counter.


My friend Bridget brings a traditional Irish cottage pie, savory beef with carrots and onions and mashed potatoes piled on top, gently browned in the oven. It, too, smells and looks wonderful. Bridget sets it on the counter next to the challah.


Another friend brings a vegetable curry, redolent with spice, served on a mound of brown rice. 


And yet another brings a crisp green salad with tomatoes fresh from his garden and a tangy dressing that his grandmother taught him to make.


All are mouth-watering. All are rich not only in nutrition but in cultural values and tradition.


Then the host welcomes us, crams everything into a giant blender, and begins pulverizing it into a liquid. When one of us protests, she says gaily, “It’s all food!” And that’s true – but the distinctive flavors have been lost, the texture is gone, and it’s just a tasteless mush.


Do you want to eat that mush? Is it really “just the same?”


For me, religion is like that. Each tradition has its own beauty, its own distinctive texture and flavor. Certainly we can learn from one another, just as I might try adding a bit of curry to a cottage pie to see if it brings out the flavor in a new way, but I don’t want to just mash them together. For Christians, the person of Jesus is the definitive revelation of God, and a personal manifestation of God. That is dramatically different from the fierce monotheism of Judaism, which insists that God is ultimately indescribable and utterly One. And both of those are completely different from the Allah of Islam, who revealed His will to humanity through the Prophet Mohammad, and to whom believers owe perfect submission.


There are elements in each that simply don’t reconcile. Either Jesus is God, or he wasn’t. (The tense difference is deliberate.) Either the Messiah has arrived, or not yet.  Either the Koran is the definitive word of God, or it isn’t.


My point is, THAT IS OK, at least from a Jewish point of view. As a Jew, I don’t think anyone is going to Hell for disagreeing. I don’t think there is such a place as Hell, except for the hells we make here in this life. And yes, this difference is also one of the tensions that can’t be resolved among our various traditions, because I know that Christian and Islamic ideas of salvation and redemption are quite different from Jewish ideas.


I understand why these differences can be scary and why it seems safer to insist that there is no real difference. The problem is, there ARE real differences, and all the insisting and pretending in the world won’t change that. Our task, in a pluralistic society, is to learn how to get along despite the fact that we disagree on so much. It can be done, but only if we’re willing to be honest about the differences. If we are honest in owning differences, then we can learn enough about each other to avoid injuries, and to foster mutual respect.

May the day come when we can respect one another enough to see differences, and to simply let them be.



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Rabbi Ruth Adar is a teaching rabbi based in San Leandro, CA. She has many hats: rabbi, mom, poodle groomer, and ham radio operator K6RAV. She blogs at https://coffeeshoprabbi.com/ as the Coffee Shop Rabbi.

12 thoughts on “What’s the Difference?”

  1. Thank you for this post! This is one of those, oh-can’t-it-please-be-true ideas that people long to fix. But the first way to deal with it is indeed, facing the truth. Mature intercourse involves accepting the differences between you and the other person. We learn more from people are different from us than those who are just like us.


  2. Hi Rabbi!

    Although I consider myself Christian , I have a great love for the Jewish people , their history, their customs , festivals and special days . Spiritually speaking , I think I’m a little Jewish deep in my heart. I have read many books and articles on Jewish spirituality and beliefs , and one of the things I love the most is how the Jews teach respect for other religions . I struggle a lot with the Christian idea that “we are the only way ” and the rest of humanity is wrong and condemned. I think the analogy you used is more than accurate, I could really identify when you wrote: ” Each tradition has its own beauty , its own distinctive texture and flavor Certainly we can learn from one another , just as i might try adding a bit of curry to a cottage pie to see if It brings out the flavor in a new way , but I do not want to just mash them together . ” . I think we can practice our religious beliefs with love and respect for those who believe differently . The fact that we think and believe differently in our faith should not make us enemies with each other. We should have entire freedom to believe what we believe, with our doctrinal differences etc, and the same time be able to appreciate and respect the differents religious beliefs of those around us.

    Beatriz 🙂


  3. I think one thing that many thoughtful Christians struggle with is the idea of “The Great Commission” to go and share the gospel. I’ve become comfortable with the idea that my life should reflect and share the gospel…rather than only words. We get into a lot of trouble with people (TV preachers for example) say lots of nice words, but their lives reflect nothing of what they say.

    you made just a small touch upon “hells we make on Earth” I often wonder if at the end of my life this will be “it” and there will be no streets of gold etc, and indeed your existence was already heaven or hell, depending on how you chose to be during your life….


    1. The Great Commission is a tricky issue, given the history between Christians and Jews. Many Jews experience well-meaning witness as an assault, and it winds up having the opposite of the desired effect. Your approach – speaking with your life – is a much more effective way.


  4. I honestly think that Christians are in general terribly unskilled at bearing witness. As a Christian, I myself have felt assaulted by some well meaning witness! It’s something that we are in general encouraged to do, some churches encourage it more than others, but they don’t really explain which ways seem to be effective…..so…


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